The Agony and The Ecstacy

Samantha added another physical therapist this week.  Our occupational therapist with ECI brought out a physical therapist to check out Samantha due to her refusal to put weight on her feet. 

It's this therapist's opinion, given some other lingering reflexes that Sam still has, that her earlier "standing" wasn't really true standing at all, but a lingering standing reflex that infants have and that Sam didn't develop until 4 months.  If she's correct, all the time we had her standing, thinking it was so cute, was probably a really bad thing.

So now, she said, Samantha is learning to stand like any normal 6 month old would.  (I've actually heard this from two other sources as well, but not so definitively).  Overall, the team from ECI reviewed her skills, and placed her at about a 6 month level (she's now 10 1/2 mos).

Why does this bother me?  I am so grateful for all Samantha can do, because there really were no guarantees that she could do any of it.  I am thrilled that she is developing her skills in a normal sequence without anything missing.  I think I fool myself into thinking she is even more normal than this on a day-to-day basis, because she is such a happy, interactive, inquisitive baby, and is always developing and learning new things.  I don't know why, but this just really pulled the rug out from under my feet.

In addition, she will now see another therapist every two weeks related to the standing, while the OT starts to focus on her feeding challenges.  This gives us a total of 3 therapists, and 8 therapy appointments each month. 

Just when the overall exhaustion of all of this was about to overtake me, I picked Samantha up to put her on my lap, and she stuck out her legs and STOOD on my lap, just like she used to.  I actually started to cry.  I can't wait to tell her therapists.